i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
