Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Randomize
