Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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