Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
