Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Randomize
