i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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