Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
