This house was built for laser tag.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
