Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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