I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
