I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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