I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
