dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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