We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
