are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
