Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
