Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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