He kissed a someone with a penis
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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