Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
