Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
