Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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