Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
