Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
