Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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