if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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