it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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