Someone shit on the floor
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize