roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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