i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
