At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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