I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
