Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
