OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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