Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
