Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize