Dual....:-)
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
