We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize