I drank myself into bisexuality again.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
soo... how was my night?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
