I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
