i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
