Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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