does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
