I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
