So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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