Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
