Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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