My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I didn't notice because vodka
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
