she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize