I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You are a booty call, not a friend.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
