You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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