so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Drake has all the answers
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize