I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
