I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
