We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
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