Duck Duck Cougar?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
