Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
