My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize