We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
