he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
