If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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