Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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