I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize