I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize