I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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