You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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