p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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