i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
